Category Archives: Baby

TMB: It’s the Little Things.

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It’s the little things that remind me of what I’m suppose to be doing, be grateful for, focus on, etc. I think, so often, I am looking for some big, hug ol’ sign that guides me to make choices. As if flashing lights and signs should appear for me to know the answer to my questions. But, more often than not, small things happen that show me my course of action.

Nico is 6 months old now. It has taken half a year for me to “get back” to myself – and I still don’t think I am quite back just yet. Just last week I was able to admit to my friends and husband that I am dealing with post-partum depression. Why did I wait so long? Because I’m a counselor who has counseled women on this topic, because I’m in denial, because I’m an idiot, because I want to appear to have it all together, because I don’t want my some to pick up on my emotions. It could be any of these reasons depending on the day.

Now, if you’ve ever had depression, you’re probably imagining me stuck in bed, not wanting to get out and see friends, crying all day long, not having the energy to shower, etc. But that’s not what is going on. It’s as simple as this: My. Hormones. Are. Nutso. Yep, that’s purely clinical terminology there, folks. But, seriously, its my hormones that haven’t returned. A dear friend asked if I could change anything in my life to make me happier what would it be. And, in all honesty, nothing. I recognize how good my life is, there is nothing I would change, my husband is amazing, my son is so stinkin’ perfect…. Well, with the exception that he never sleeps. So, lack of sleep does not help me in any way shape or form.

This is different. But, its the little things that keep me on course. It’s an old friend asking me out of the blue if I blog (Ugh, do I blog… I have A blog. Better get to work on it so I can say I blog!), its a friend who brought me coffee and a muffin one morning so I could pour my heart out, its another friend who is a seasoned mother and wife that was brave enough to ask me tough questions to get me talking in the first place, it’s my son’s face the first time he ever saw me cry that reminded me that I needed to care for myself so I can care for him. Its a prayer said for me that I didn’t even know about, a smile, a hug.

If you have ever had a child and you know the hormone roller coaster I speak of, God bless your heart. If it’s lasted until your child was 6 months or older I’d love to hear how you dealt with it.

Life is good. My hormones suck. But, most importantly, I still see this moment’s blessings.

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TMB: A Baby…

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That’s right. This moment’s blessing is that Brian and I have been blessed with a healthy pregnancy that is in its 15th week. And we couldn’t be more thrilled! And scared, and giggly, and hopeful. So, no, I didn’t abandon my blog completely – just until I could gather my wits about me enough to muster up something to write here.  So, since this moment’s blessing is about our baby, I thought I would write to him/her and officially welcome them with a letter from my heart.

Dear Wee lil’ Wiese,

We found out you were a part of our life on January 20th – the night we were packing our bags to go on a ski trip to see your Uncles David and Stephen and your Aunt Danielle. I left your dad in the bathroom with the pregnancy test because I couldn’t stand to see the words “not pregnant” come up again. I sat on the bed in our bedroom waiting… and waiting… and waiting. Slowly, your dad walked out of the bathroom, stick in hand, then slowly and softly told me the most beautiful two words I had ever heard, “We’re pregnant!” What a glorious moment we shared crying, laughing, sharing looks of joy and fear and happiness and elation. Then more crying because we so desperately wanted you to be a part of our life for such a long time. God is good – you learn that quickly and never forget that, you hear? God is so good and His timing is always better than ours.

When we found out about you we were just 4 weeks and 3 days along in our pregnancy. Now, as I write, you are a healthy little one of 14 weeks and 2 days. Or, as I like to say, 15 weeks. Sounds much better. Nevertheless, you are little and no one can even notice you in my belly just yet – except daddy and me. But, despite your small size, you have already made a major impact on my life. I was never that nauseous but man have I been tired and needing sleep much more than before. Daily afternoon naps are a must!

We’ve had 2 doctor appointments already. The first was on February 25th with Dr. Druhan. We got to see you on an ultrasound! Yes, I cried! I stared at that picture all day, and the next. I couldn’t believe you were real. We spent the rest of the day calling your grandparents and aunts and uncles to tell them you were strong and healthy. Then we went baby furniture shopping. Our second appointment was on March 25th and this time we got to hear your heart beat. Oh, how I needed to hear it! But, just as the doctor found your little beating heart, mommy laughed and you hid somewhere in my belly that we couldn’t hear you again for a minute. Then, you reappeared and let us hear you again – until I started laughing.

I feel as if I have already met you and have fallen in love with you. I talk to you everyday and sing to you. I learn all I can about what you’re doing in my belly – so amazing. And I pray for you daily without fail. Mommy and Daddy are even taking a class on how to teach you about God. You are much-loved by so many already, little one.