A Letter to the Working Dad

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Dear Working Dad, Much attention is given to the Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM) and the Working Mom about the struggles, the guilt and the choices they have made. What about you? Where do you fit in? Everywhere in our day. From the moment I pull my toddler out of bed until breakfast is on the table I get questions like…      Is Dad here?      Is he at work?      Did he drive his car to work?      Is Dad here? (Hoping for a different answer)      Where did Dad go? (Praying I will say ‘Just to the bathroom’ or ‘In the garage’) And so it goes until he is satisfied that my answer are true and unchangeable. Though, throughout the day, I will be told that he is making a Lego catapult for you when you get home from work or that I am not doing something quite the way you would do it. And I don’t mind one bit because it tells me you have made such a personal and loving impact on our child already. Then, around lunch time, the barrage of questions listed above begin again with more intensity (nap time is coming, mind you). But these questions have a different tone by this point in the day. Instead of being investigative of your whereabouts the questions have become concerning the reason of your absence. These are the ones I love to answer. Why did Dad go to work, Momma? …because Dad is a hard worker and he goes to work so that we can live in our comfy house, play with your toys, wear the clothes we have and eat the yummy food we’re eating. Isn’t Dad so good to us? A few more questions will arise about if you’ll play with him and what we will all do when you get home. We moms have thoughts of you, too. Usually around nap time… when we get a little bit of energy back… we think sexy thoughts. We have high hopes that the remainder of the day will go as planned and our energy level will stay up so that when the kids are officially down for the count we will take off our Mom & Dad hats and be us again. Sexy, frisky, romantic us. Lingerie, dim lights, snug in each other’s arms… zzzzzzzzzzzz…. snrmk gnahhh zzzZZZZ… Dear, sweet, loving and hard-working Dad, you are very much a presence throughout our day and your time away from home does not go unnoticed. The world generally expects that a short time after the birth (3-5 days) you will throw yourself back into your work as if nothing in your life has changed. But, oh! It has, hasn’t it? Your thoughts are with your sleep-deprived and exhausted wife (double this for every additional child thrown into the family mix) who is desperately trying to balance out her post-pregnancy hormones while getting to know her new routine. You feel guilt for leaving her to scramble, you miss holding the new baby and being there during the day. You dream up with some way that you cam make millions instantly and both be Stay-at-Home-Parents. We moms have dreamt up the same kooky plans. We also miss you being by our side. Not only because we are devastatingly bleary-eyed and tired and have had to search for our coffee cup three times in an hour (fridge, pantry and in the upstairs bathroom). We miss you because we know how precious these days are. These years. We miss you because the combined joy of both of us oohing and ahhing over how our children are the most amazing children in the world is always far better than thinking that alone during the day. Our days at home are not easy. They are long. They are exhausting. They make us cry in front of our children and hysterically sitting in the dark of the closet. But we are thankful for them and we are most thankful for you… even when we forget to say it as we throw the kids at you when you walk into the door and “go use the restroom” for 30 minutes. 30 minutes of no one staring at us as we pee or crying for us as we take a much coveted shower. So, thank you. For your dedication to provide for our family, for the personal sacrifice you make to be away from us 50 hours a week (though in our more snarky moments we may resent you – you lucky jerk). We are thinking of you all day long and are always thrilled when you come home. Love, The SAHM and kids P.S. We promise the sexy-energy will return. Sometimes in spurts. That last one day. But it will return.    

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About Steph

Everyday I catch myself falling more in love with God each time my breath is taken away by the recognition of how richly, ridiculously blessed I am. I am the luckiest wife in all the world to be married to mi amor, Brian. The most spoiled daughter and daughter-in-law, the very tolerated sister and sister-in-law by siblings who put up with my nosiness, talkativeness and advice giving, the auntie of (almost) 7 darlings and the friend to so many amazing people that make me laugh and cry, ask me to share with them in the joy of welcoming their children to the world and who throw just about the best parties ever. I am also a mental health therapist and am so honored to hear the stories and struggles of so many amazing people. And, you? You're here for some reason - and I hope you also discover the joy of loving Christ as you read about the thrills and blunders of the life of the Wieses. Well, at least we're having fun!

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